I had a dream the other night. After the Sandman paid me a visit and I fell into a state of unconsciousness, I was brought back to my childhood. I stood there in my grandparents kitchen, distinctively painted a burnt orange.
A tradition of ours was to mark our height on the wall next to the fridge. Faded pencil lines started a few feet off the ground accompanied by a relative’s name and the date.
As I was intrigued to find these painted over markings exposed, my deceased grandfather appeared. He turned me around just like when I was a growing adolescent and leaned the back of my head against the wall to add another marking.
GROWTH COMES IN MANY FORMS.
Coming back to reality and wiping the sleep out of my eyes, I realized I haven’t grown much in height over the years. You could say my five foot ten inch frame may have reached its limit.
But I have grown physically, mentally, and spiritually. And I intend to keep taking a step forward, getting better at something each day, and never settling to be grown up.
There are no limits on your growth.
THE WATER.
So how does this help you? On the journey to creating your own life, I want you to realize that there are numerous ways to measure your growth. While you set out to accomplish all your hopes and dreams, focus on the steps you took, all the knowledge, experience, and relationships you’ve gained, and how you are constantly evolving.
In your pursuit of happiness, struggle is a main ingredient. Just like a muscle needs a stimulus to grow in size, these strifes will be the catalyst for your individual growth. You will be presented with challenges that will test you and cause you to change for the better.
Since I spend a lot of time within the confinements of the gym’s mirrored walls, let’s focus there.
Maybe you are frustrated because the scale hasn’t budged despite restricting calories or increasing your time exercising or both…
Maybe you are ready to give up altogether on the bench press or squat after your numbers have been stuck for weeks to months…
Maybe you can’t give up that after-dinner treat of chocolate no matter how hard you try…we love dessert too 😉
As frustrated as you may seem, remember that challenge create change. Change allows us to grow. No matter how uncomfortable it may seem, we need this just like a plant needs water to reach its full potential.
THE SHADE.
Going back to my dream, that wall was in a perfect chronological order of growth. No one got shorter with passing time (well maybe my grandmother…). At one point or another, we all stayed the same height.
Fitness doesn’t work like this. It isn’t always a straight line of progress with a definitive end.
We’ve all been here…We hit plateaus and have set backs. We get discouraged. We quit.
But your journey to a healthy lifestyle, physical transformation, or a successful sports performance isn’t represented by a number on the scale unforgivingly staring back at you. It’s not your recent PR on a lift. It’s not always about the wins or loses.
Let’s make this clear.
You are not the weight on the scale.
You are not defined by a certain number of pounds that you can lift.
You are not your victories nor your defeats.
We must first separate your individual self from these outside entities. Remove yourself from the shade and enter…
THE SUNLIGHT.
Now that you have moved out of the shade, allow yourself to take in all that the sunlight has to offer. Absorb all of its nutrients and grow. Maybe even get a little tan to go with that new body on its way.
As we discussed earlier there are more ways to grow besides just height. And because I believe that feedback is always a great tool for achieving your goals, here are some new approaches I want you to try.
Instead of being harassed by the scale and its frustrating fluctuations, let’s set up different ways to measure your body transformation.
- Start by taking some progress pictures for your eyes only. (At least at the beginning)
- Measure your waist. Write it down. *For a little bonus, you can also pick out a coveted pair of jeans, pants, or bathing suit to gauge your progress.
- Have a qualified professional take your body fat percentage. We always favor lean body mass over total weight.
Instead of finding an excuse to skip the gym on the day of your stalled lifts, try one of these methods instead.
- Identify your weakness. Target a sticking point where you always seem to fail and get stronger there. There are numerous methods to overload and overcome it. Start by figuring out the weak link then train to get it up to par.
- Fix your technique. Have a coach analyze your form and see if they can pinpoint any inefficiencies. If you don’t have access to a trainer, video yourself and compare to a successful powerlifter.
Instead of smacking yourself like Crazy Eyes on Orange Is the New Black over that late night snack or missing your target macros again, here are three approaches to give a go:
- Don’t beat yourself up over your “failures”. These are small bleeps in the bigger picture. Forgive, Forget, and move Forward.
- Focus on the positive. Consistency is key. How many nights did you go without a sweet or how many days did you hit your targets? If not as many as you’d like, start a tally and work diligently to rack them up.
- Play the 80-20 Rule. 80 percent of the time you are on it and kicking ass, 20 percent of the time allow yourself that cheat meal and let yourself have a day off from your macros every once in a while.
Nothing like some California sunshine.
I don’t know about you but I’m sure as hell not ready to be all grown up just yet.
Other growth opportunities: I have found it valuable to quantify in journal writing the degree to which my physical growth and increased strength have helped me to grow in other ways; more confidence, ease of movement and knowing that I look better has decreased my social anxiety. I have more energy and it allows me to get more work done and to think more creatively and apply that thinking to help me discover solutions to professional and personal challenges. My community has grown because I have a whole host of new friends who are finding similar benefits from becoming stronger and accepting that life is a process and that no one “arrives.” Additionally, being part of a spirit motivated fitness community reminds me that everyone is only comparing themselves to themselves. We are all going for our personal best. And that’s different for everyone and knowing that improves my ability to celebrate the diversity of all people – and to cherish those differences. The more I grow in acceptance and love for others, the more room there is for the uniqueness of me. And, perhaps most importantly – I know, that no matter how much I grow spiritually, I will never grow past human being. And that’s a dash of humility I can really wrap my brain around and apply directly to the work I do on my body- my strength and my flexibility.
Beautifully said Josh. Thank you for sharing! Your work ethic, passion, and persistence speaks volumes alone. Every day, keep writing your own story and enjoy every sentence, page, and chapter.